For The Younger One’s birthday, we bought annual Merlin passes, which felt at the time like a wholesome investment in family memories and not, as it would later become, a surprisingly efficient mechanism for converting my salary into churros, arcade tokens and emergency swimwear. Our first big outing was CBeebies Land at Alton Towers, which I’ve reviewed separately, and because we had a bit of a drive and two children involved, we decided to make a proper mini-break of it and stay one night at Splash Landings Hotel. We were not looking for luxury, only convenience, a bit of fun and the sort of family memory you laugh about afterwards, even if it involved a few expensive lessons.
First impressions mattered more than I expected. The Older One clocked the pool almost immediately and was sold before we had even checked in, while The Younger One became utterly absorbed by the giant water wheel turning in the main hotel area, which to him looked like some enchanted pirate contraption. Before I had mentally started calculating the likely damage of snacks and drinks, the boys had already bought into the whole thing. Once children have done that, you are no longer evaluating a hotel, you are honouring a promise.
Staying At Splash Landings Hotel: Why We Booked On Site For Alton Towers
The biggest attraction was convenience. With young children, convenience is not a nice extra, it is often the thing standing between a magical family day out and a slow-motion logistical collapse. The thought of avoiding a long dawn drive, getting into the park early and skipping the shattered drive home after a full day of rides felt worth paying for. There is always a point in a family day out, usually late afternoon, where one child is exhausted but insists they are not tired, another wants a snack you do not have, and one adult is wondering how quickly they can sit down. Avoiding that phase in motorway traffic has genuine value.
Check-in from 3pm was simple enough, helped by the sort of strategic iPad deployment parents understand as diplomacy rather than indulgence. Parking is included too, which sounds mundane until you remember parking at Alton Towers is otherwise another line item quietly working away at the budget. Family trips are rarely derailed by one catastrophic expense. They are more often nibbled to death by a series of cheerful add-ons.
The room itself was comfortable enough and, importantly, clean. The bathroom felt clean too, which in a family hotel matters more than whether the décor feels freshly updated. The Caribbean castaway theming lands far better with children than adults. Kids see pirate adventure and tropical mystery. Adults see a hotel edging towards needing a refurbishment plan. Both interpretations can coexist. Our room had a double bed and bunk beds, which meant Everyday Mum and The Younger One sensibly claimed the double while The Older One took the top bunk, leaving me on the lower bunk. There is a point in life when sleeping on a bottom bunk feels less like accommodation and more like an audit of your decisions. Turning over at two in the morning in a bunk designed for someone roughly half my size was a reminder that adventure tourism has limits.
Free Mini Golf At Splash Landings: A Family Bonus Worth Using
One thing I rarely see mentioned in other Splash Landings reviews is the free mini golf included with your stay, which is a shame because it was a genuine little win. We did it on the first evening and it turned out to be one of those simple family moments you end up remembering. The boys loved it, there was enough variety in the course to keep them interested and it served another crucial purpose, which was burning energy before bedtime. Parents know the strategic importance of this.
There is also something deeply funny about how every dad approaches mini golf with irrational confidence. Give a grown man a plastic putter and a pirate-themed obstacle and suddenly he thinks he is reading greens at Augusta. By hole three I was over-analysing angles with the seriousness of a man playing for a jacket.
Splash Landings Waterpark Review: Is The Pool Worth The Extra Cost?
Let’s not pretend otherwise, the waterpark is the reason many families stay here. It is the thing carrying much of the value. With seven pools and ten slides, plus the lazy river, splash areas and water cannons, it has proper pull. The lazy river was chaotic but great fun, and the boys loved floating outside while still in warm water. There is something wonderfully British about that, being outdoors in theory but not suffering for it.
The water cannons caused total carnage. The boys took enormous pleasure in soaking me and other passing dads drifting by, and I can confirm there is a quiet fellowship among middle-aged fathers being ambushed in a lazy river by children wielding water artillery. Nobody speaks, but the eye contact says plenty.
The flume looked good too, though trying to manage that with The Older One keen, The Younger One too little and queue patience running thin was a classic example of family attractions being easier in theory than practice. Brochures never mention the tactical negotiations.
Now, the price. Swimming was an extra and, in my view, expensive. Family access can easily land in the £60 to £75 range depending on package structure. Then, because I forgot swimming trunks and had to buy them on site, we spent another £50. That took a casual family swim into roughly £110 territory, which felt less like leisure and more like opening a satellite branch of a private health club. Painful as that was, it remained the highlight of the trip for the boys, which is the contradiction at the heart of this place. Brilliant fun and expensive extras can both be true.
My practical advice is simple. Pre-book swimming, pack your trunks and be honest with yourself about whether the pool is central to why you are staying. If you are not using the waterpark, I would seriously consider staying off-site, because without it much of the argument for Splash Landings weakens. I also think it is fair to say this probably is not for families expecting premium resort polish, not ideal for those watching every pound and not especially logical if you intend to skip the pool altogether.
Rooms, Noise And The Myth Of “A Short Walk”
The hotel does have friction points. Corridor noise travelled into the room and soundproofing felt weak, so excited children charging about late could be heard. That is not entirely the hotel’s fault, more the reality of putting lots of overexcited children under one themed roof, but it is worth knowing.
The monorail also was not operating during our stay, which was annoying because it meant a longer walk into the park. Theme parks have a wonderfully optimistic relationship with walking distances. A “short walk” in attraction language can mean something very different once you add tired children, bags and collapsing morale into the equation.
There were moments where the magic and the maintenance budget appeared to be in a quiet standoff, but the boys did not notice any of it, which is often the real test.
Flambo Jambo Buffet Review: Why We Drove To McDonald’s Instead
Dinner at Flambo’s Jambo was where my enthusiasm wobbled. With adult buffet pricing around £28 to £30 and children roughly £12 to £13, a family meal can quickly drift towards £80 to £100 before extras. Given the mixed reviews I had seen, plus the fact I was already mentally recovering from a £50 swimwear incident, I simply could not make it stack up.
There was a brief look exchanged between myself and Everyday Mum, the sort married people can conduct entire financial summits through, and twenty minutes later we were driving to McDonald’s. I was disappointed, truthfully. I wanted the hotel dinner to feel part of the experience, but paying that much to watch one child reject most of a buffet felt hard to justify. At least the drive meant the boys got food I knew they would eat, even if nuggets were not quite the Caribbean resort dining fantasy I had imagined.
Splash Landings Breakfast Review And Tips To Avoid The Queue
Breakfast the next morning was fine, which is an honest assessment rather than faint praise. All the usual staples were there, cereals, pastries, fruit and the expected fried breakfast additions. The sausages were underwhelming, though mass-catered buffet sausages often are, and while the food did the job, I was in dire need of a better coffee than the breakfast area could provide. The juice, meanwhile, seemed to have only a passing acquaintance with actual fruit.
Do get there early. Breakfast generally runs from 7:30am to 10am and by 9am the queue looked deeply unappealing. Thankfully our boys wake up offensively early, which for once played in our favour.
The Arcade And The Unexpected Extra Costs Nobody Mentions
There is a sizeable arcade and The Older One loved it. To children, it looked magical. To me, it looked like a direct debit with flashing lights. That probably captures the whole dynamic.
One thing this stay reinforced is how easily costs can accumulate. Swimming, emergency trunks, arcade spend, drinks, buffet pricing. Every few hours the resort appeared to discover a fresh way to invoice me. It was almost impressive.
Splash Landings Vs Alton Towers Hotel: Which Is Better For Families?
We wandered over to the main Alton Towers Hotel for a look and it seemed perfectly decent. My view is fairly simple. If the pool matters, choose Splash Landings. If you care more about the hotel itself and may not use the waterpark, the main hotel may suit you just as well. For us, the pool is the thing that makes Splash Landings special. Remove that and much of the case for staying there goes with it.
If you want more structured entertainment for younger children, the nearby CBeebies Land Hotel may suit some families better too, particularly with story times and activities aimed at smaller children. We did not really use Splash Landings for entertainment ourselves. For us it was mainly somewhere to sleep before exploring the park.
Final Verdict: Is Splash Landings Hotel Worth It?
Did Splash Landings blow me away as a hotel? Not really. It feels a little tired, some extras sting and the food is expensive. But the waterpark was genuinely brilliant, the mini golf was a bonus, staying on site made the whole trip easier and watching The Older One and The Younger One howl with laughter while firing water cannons at passing dads is still the image I think of first.
Would we stay again? Yes, if using the pool. Probably not if skipping the pool. Definitely eat off-site. Definitely pre-book swimming. Definitely pack trunks. That last point may be the most expensive lesson of the lot.
